What does shedding your old identity mean to you?
When we’re in a position where we want positive or negative change, our actions naturally steer us towards this new version of ourselves. This transformation involves our entire identity—it’s who we become and what we’re known for. Whether that’s being the healthy guy at the gym or the guy who spends weekends at the pub, our identity adapts to the new surroundings through our consistent actions.
In our brains, we’re actually altering the balances of what we are and what we believe in. It sounds crazy, but it’s true. Let’s use myself as an example. When I was young and reckless, my identity was wrapped up in that lifestyle. I thought it was cool and lived it for so long that it became the only thing my mind knew. Even if my health didn’t reflect what I wanted, my mind was fixated on alcohol and partying. Entering a healthy lifestyle seemed so unfamiliar that my mind preferred feeling like crap in the old lifestyle simply because it was familiar.
It’s an interesting theory because once you become aware of the comfort zones you’ve built in your mind, you might realize that those zones aren’t getting you where you need to be. The fear of something new and exciting can overwhelm you compared to the familiar, even if you hate the familiar path.
So, what you really need to do if you genuinely want to change a habit or your lifestyle is to become aware of these limitations, comfort zones, and familiar paths in your mind. Be willing to step out of them. Walk a new path. Change that identity. Realize that for you to effect change in your life, this is where it begins.
Once you start making decisions that push the comfort zone and immerse yourself in activities or information related to the new life path you want to take, you’ll slowly but surely change your identity to this new positive thing. If you want to become more active but always say, “I’m not that type of guy,” is that you clinging to your old identity? Maybe. What if you challenged that belief and said, “Hold on, that’s something my old identity would say. My new identity is open-minded and willing to give anything a go.”
Could what’s holding you back simply be the artificial walls created in your own mind?
If that is what's holding you back, then how do you fix it? How do you just click your fingers and create a new identity? Well, like most good things, it's going to take a little bit of time and mental rewiring, but it is possible.
If I wanted to eat really healthy but was notorious for eating fast food and having chocolate all around my apartment, I would need to accept that the new me didn't do that. I would have to become aware of my triggers and actively create systems to avoid falling into them. Maybe next time I go shopping, I skip the sugar aisles and only buy what’s on my list—chicken, steak, black rice, and steamed veggies. If I knew I always ordered fast food on UberEats, I would delete the app from my phone because this is something the new me doesn’t do.
I would ask myself multiple times per day, “What would someone healthy do?”
Then I would likely set myself a time frame for how long I was going to sustain this new life choice so after a while, I could moderate it and look back on the results. That way, I have the data of how I feel as the new identity versus how I felt in the old identity. The key is to remember that it was me who wanted the positive change and accepted that it would be unfamiliar territory. The hard part is that it doesn't always happen the first time around and might require multiple attempts. Because the second time you try this, eating healthy might not feel unfamiliar anymore. See where we’re going with this?
Alcohol was a big one for me. I would have so much fun, but when I was hungover, all my poor decisions with food and skipping exercise became normal. To perform optimally, I had to accept that alcohol was my trigger. From drinking alcohol, I would have scattered memory, black-out thoughts, excessive spending, recreational drug use, overeating that night, overeating the next day, not leaving the house, skipping the gym, making zero progress, feeling anxiety, feeling depression, experiencing economic repercussions of overspending, and a lack of interest in my favorite activities. But these were all familiar things. So, when it happened, as much as I hated every second of it, it was a place I knew well.
When I limited alcohol, I initially tried the method of, “I'm never drinking again.” The problem was the guilt when I did. So instead, I decided to say, “Okay, I'm not going to drink for a month. Then when I get to the end point, I'll see how I feel.” The first time I didn't make it because I created excuses—a party would come up, my week was too hectic, I just needed to wind down, I couldn’t switch my mind off. What was actually happening was that my mind was in such unfamiliar territory that it didn't know what to do with itself, so it rapidly tried to reboot and go back to the old familiar territory. So I tried again and again. Slowly but surely, the longer the stints of not drinking, the more familiar I became with this healthy lifestyle.
Suddenly, my sleeping pattern became consistent, I was noticeably losing weight, I didn't get puffed out as easily, my skin was improving, my memory was getting sharper, I was seeing through projects from start to finish, and I was gaining momentum in life. This lifestyle was amazing, and I felt like I was firing on all cylinders.
Now what if being this new guy was actually someone I could permanently become? What would he be capable of? What kind of dreams would he have? How big of a mark would he leave on the world?
Now, my identity has permanently shifted to someone who is active, healthy, loves themselves, and hates feeling hungover, lazy, and unhappy. All of it started by wanting to change my identity and become someone I could feel proud of when I stared at my reflection in the mirror.
Conclusion
The journey of shedding your old identity and embracing a new one is not easy, but it is absolutely possible. It starts with recognizing the comfort zones and limitations you've set for yourself and being willing to step out of them. By actively making decisions that push your comfort zone and immersing yourself in activities related to your new desired path, you can transform your identity.
Whether it's adopting a healthier lifestyle, quitting harmful habits, or becoming more confident in your abilities, the key is persistence and self-awareness. Understand that the familiar path, even if it's detrimental, can be hard to leave behind. But with each step you take towards your new identity, you get closer to living the life you truly want.
If you're ready to start this journey and need someone to guide you through it, let's chat about your goals and how we can set them into achievable actions. Your new identity awaits—one that you can be proud of and one that drives you to be the best version of yourself.
DM me today to begin transforming your life.
Commenti