Defining Anxiety
Firstly, let's define anxiety so we can understand what we're dealing with. The Cambridge Dictionary defines anxiety as "an uncomfortable feeling of nervousness or worry about something that is happening or might happen in the future."
Personal Experience with Anxiety
I’m going to share what I used to feel. I would be going about my day and doing whatever tasks I had to do when I would slowly feel it building up in my body and mind. A funny feeling that everything wasn’t quite alright, that there was a faint sense of dread, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint what was happening in my life that was making this occur. When I felt it coming, I became even more worried because I knew this feeling might sit with me for quite some time. On a bad day, it made me feel like I didn’t want to leave the house or be out in public. Even having conversations with close friends or receiving phone calls felt like they were simply too much to deal with. It was like a pot of boiling water just bubbling dangerously close to spilling over.
But what would happen if it did spill over? See, I never made it past that point; eventually, it would slowly fade away. But why was this happening to me? I decided to start identifying the triggers.
Identifying Triggers
Caffeine turned out to be one of my main triggers, so I decided to wean myself off coffee slowly but surely. Within a few weeks, I didn’t need it and still don’t. Once my body adjusted to using food as its way to regulate my energy levels without caffeine masking tiredness, what I was eating became a much higher priority.
The next trigger for me was alcohol and recreational drugs. When I was a few beers deep and getting amongst the festivities of whatever the night had brought me, I was on top of the world. The next day, however, I would have a merry-go-round in my mind playing everything I needed to do, everything wrong I might have said, and worry about the general direction my life was heading in. But maybe some of that was necessary to keep myself in check. My trigger for recreational drugs was booze, so if I could limit my booze intake, then that would kill two birds with one stone. Drinking became something that needed heavy moderation and not be part of a 7-day cycle. Feeling healthy and not being hungover for consecutive weeks allowed my gym routine to become a top priority. When you wake up feeling fresh every day, you suddenly have no excuse not to exercise.
The last trigger for me was work. But I couldn’t exactly just quit or sell a high-stress business, which was my prime source of income, so I decided to learn how to manage stress more efficiently. Feeling stressed about work and a bit of anxiety is actually quite normal. If I had a job that didn’t require me to feel these things, I probably wouldn’t perform at the level that I know I’m capable of. So I began to learn the “how” of dealing with situations that would cause anxiety. I had to rewire my thoughts to accept that some things in life are out of my control, and rather than worry about them, sometimes you must live and let live. Acceptance of controlling what can be controlled and not getting overly worried about what was out of my hands became a priority. When situations came up, I was able to decipher which ones belonged in which category in my mind. Those that were in my control became top priorities, and those that were out of it, not so much.
Managing Anxiety
So I had my top 3 triggers on lock. Yet for some reason, I would still feel anxiety creeping into my life every so often. Some of these episodes were caused by medication for ADHD, so I had to become very careful about dosages and dedicate a few weeks of trial and error until I got the mix just right. Daunting and time-consuming, but essential for my long-term state of mind.
Why was I still feeling overly anxious every now and then, and more importantly, what could I do to stop it? I began to study anxiety so I could understand chemically what was happening in the brain. During anxiety, the brain experiences an imbalance of neurotransmitters, such as increased levels of adrenaline and cortisol, and decreased levels of serotonin and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), leading to heightened arousal, stress responses, and a sense of fear or apprehension.
So, to put it in terms that I would understand more clearly, it was a constant feeling that something was going to happen—an attack, some terrible news, something awful happening out of the blue. How could I live like this?
Embracing Anxiety
I realized that the biggest problem I had was in the way I was approaching anxiety. My biggest flaw was wanting to be able to control it and stop it. It reminded me of being back on the open ocean, during my days working on a superyacht, especially the first few times I spent weeks out at sea. The yacht was headed through bad weather, and I didn’t have my sea legs yet, so my body was in a constant state of motion—getting tossed around, lack of sleep, difficulty eating, difficulty maintaining fluids. But the entire time this was happening, all that was going through my head was, I wish this would stop. I wanted to be able to control the ocean. Control what was physically happening. Defy physics. But the biggest part of overcoming my seasickness was when I one day realized, this weather isn’t going to stop. The waves aren’t going to get smaller. The swell and the currents aren’t going to stop because I want them to. I must become one with the ocean and give in to its powers and accept it.
What I began to realize is that anxiety works quite similarly to this. I had been running from it, wanting it to stop and wanting to control it. But what if I didn’t? What if I decided to face it head-on? What if, when it floated into my mind, instead of going into panic mode, I said, “hello, old friend” and decided to let it do its thing? I needed a system.
When I would feel it coming or I was in a situation where it might rise, instead of hoping that it wouldn’t, I began to anticipate it. Then, when it would appear as a big dark cloud in my mind, instead of hiding from it, I would face it in my thoughts and mentally scream out for it to do its worst. Let’s fucking go, let’s ride this out! Then I would begin to breathe deeply through my nose all the way down until I could feel my belly rise and heavily exhale to put my body into a state of relaxation. I would begin to count down from 30 with each deep inhale while my eyes were closed.
Anxiety is just a storm cloud passing through your mind; it’s the chemical imbalance in your brain that’s causing this, and it’s nothing to be feared. Some days you might feel overly happy, but you know that it won’t last forever, and when you feel sad, it doesn’t last forever either. Anxiety is the same. Picture the interior nervous system of your body like rivers running through the place—sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it’s turbulent, but it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be like that for an infinite amount of time. Because once you accept it for what it is, you know that it will pass, stop controlling your life, and you no longer have to live in fear. So try this method next time you have something big coming up or you feel like your anxiety is taking over you and face it head-on!
Conclusion
Remember, anxiety is a part of life, but it doesn't have to control your life. By understanding your triggers and facing anxiety head-on with practical techniques, you can manage and reduce its impact. Try these methods the next time you feel anxious and see how they work for you. Embrace the journey and be patient with yourself.
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